Friday, January 30, 2009

The Guest List

When we originally started to plan, we wanted to invite everyone who had been an important part of our lives and our families lives. Our guest list was enormous. As time went by, we started setting up our priorities. We both want the wedding to be about the joining of two families. We felt a more intimate wedding would allow us to really enjoy the special moments with our closest family and friends.

In the beginning we stressed about hurting people's feelings and didn't want to leave anyone out. But if we invited more people, it means less time with those who are the most important to us. Our guestlist began at over 350 people. We ended up getting it down to about 200 people. Not what some would call intimate, but when you come from a large family and Christmas includes about 100 people, this is quite a cozy wedding in my eyes.
A few cousins at a family wedding in 2006

1. Immediate family - yes
2. Extended family - aunts, uncles, cousins - yes, if over 18.
3. Friends I see multiple times in a month- yes
4. Friends I see less than once a year - no
5. Dates- no, unless married, engaged, living together, in a long term relationship, we are close friends with the significant other, or the person we are close with doesn't really know anyone else at the wedding

These are my guidelines for my friends and family. Mr. Newport's situation is different. He recently moved up here and works long hours, so he doesn't have the luxury of seeing his best friends as often as I do. We only got to visit his home a couple times this year. When we went we wanted to spend as much time with his family as we could, so visits with friends weren't as often as he'd like. He has made some great friends up in the New England area, but it isn't the same as your friends from home. So our rules are a bit different.

Has anyone else had to come up with a list of "rules" for the guest list? What was the worst part of making your guest list?

8 comments:

Adrienne said...

The guest list has been SO hard! I like your rules though, I may have to borrow some of those! :)

Aylee @ayleebits.com said...

This is the hardest part so far for us. We don't have any rules at the moment, but we might have to have an A and B list.

Good Gals Inc said...

I would never have thought that you would have to make choices like that!! (I'm not engaged or anything). It's good you set rules, it will help you make some choices for your guest list.

heidzilla said...

I had the EXACT same set of rules and it turned out great. now you just have to stick to your guns once the stdates and invites go out and you're asked. it's tough, but like you mentioned: necessary!

~heidzilla
www.heidzillas.com

The Cape House said...

That does sound like a tough spot. The idea of a B list is awful, but also practical. I think you've established good rules though, although I don't know what would happen if a guest tried to insist that their relationship was "long term" if you thought otherwise.

AmyJean said...

Yes, its a touchy subject or can be... "no house, no spouse, no ring... no bring", we aren't extending plus ones to a lot of our single friends... :-/ it's tough but we're making it a firm rule... dating at least one year seriously...
RelentlessBride

Newport Nuptials said...

@ The Capehouse, I know we are trying to figure out how to decide what is long-term, so we don't have to officialy judge how serious a relationship is.

LauraAnn said...

We are very fortunate and do not have a limit to the number of people but it still has been very difficult to think of everyone and to also hunt down everyone's addresses!!!!
It sounds like you have a great set of rules for narrowing down the number of people!